Please make something so we talk throughout the day. Anything, I don’t care what it is. You have no idea how much I need to talk to someone, and I never want to talk to friends because they will know too much. Something like “allisonsanonymous” on facebook, and we can msg each other back and forth.
come back!!
I want to keep talking to you.. without knowing who you are. But I dont know how to do that.
I wish I knew who you were.. <3
I’m dieing on the inside.. i just know it. My heart races so fast sometimes I can’t catch my breath. I can’t sleep anymore because I have so many uncontrollable thoughts racing through my head. Sometimes I want to just lock my door throw everything electronic out the window and just lay in my bed for a week, or hell maybe even longer. I don’t care to explain to people just what is going on when they ask whats wrong because they’ll never get it. These thoughts, these feelings just won’t stop.. Things have been getting progressively worse as time goes on. When events occur/occurred in my life I know things will only go further down hill from there. I know it, because I can feel it. I have the body of a 50 year old, with aches and pains just from the amount of stress I put myself through on a day to day bases. I wake up, shower, and find the same fucking smile I put on my face everyday so that people don’t try and figure out or ask whats wrong with me. I don’t want to be the sour in your day. I don’t want to be a burden in your life. Why do you do this to your self? Why do you find yourselves attracted to me? Who would want to live in this life that I live? I don’t even want to do it. I have turned your life upside even more than they were before. Oh boy! Here I go being a burden again. To you, to myself, to anything surrounding me. I feel the foundations of my feet beginning to crack from holding up all the weight and pressure I put on myself. STRESS -> I use this word at least 15 times a day minimum. And who the fuck cares to listen? Who the fuck cares to be a continuous stability in my life? I don’t need your sympathies for the 5 minutes you lean over and ask me whats wrong. Even if I did begin to tell you, your short attention span would take over and everything I’m saying would go in one ear and out the other. WHO THE FUCK CARES?! YOU HAVE PROBLEMS OF YOUR OWN. This isn’t a rant, it’s a fucking cry for help. HELLO SOS. I’M DROWNING and I can’t cry for help out loud because my lungs are full of water and deprived of oxygen. I cry, but what for? Then my pillow gets wet, and I have nothing comfortable to put my achy head on. These dark circles under my eyes aren’t from what you think. I beat myself up from the inside out. Most of the damage is done from within, and you can’t see any of it. Because you’re too busy staring at your vanity in the mirror. LOOK AROUND YOU, OPEN YOUR EYES TO WHAT IS AROUND YOU. You have been fooled.
It’s never the ones who cry out for help you need to worry about.. it’s the ones who remain silent.
